Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Randomize