I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
