PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
