is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
