Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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