if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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