well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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