I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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