just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
