I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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