I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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