he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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