just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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