Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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