Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
