it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
lets start a swedish sibling band together
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
