I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
