i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
