i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
