Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
