the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
