Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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