you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
