You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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