Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
