Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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