how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
