that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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