I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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