So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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