Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
