Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
