My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
