chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize