one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
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