If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
