What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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