I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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