What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
