Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize