Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
im having a threesome with these popsicles
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Randomize
