I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize