People in love make me want to vomit
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
