I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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