The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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