you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
