I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I am spending my child support on dildos
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
