So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
