is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
