best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
