he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
