I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
one might say we're banned from that church
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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