Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
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