When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
