1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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