the day after is always just damage control
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
