Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
