but the lizard people decide everything anyway
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I am one with the molecules
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
