Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
