on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
