it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
