i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
