3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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