He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
