dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
