More tranny stories later!
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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