We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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