even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
