We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
