i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
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