Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
