OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize