help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
