i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
